Legion of 3 Worlds: When Saturn Girls Satirize
by JudeDeluca
Summary: The Imra Ardeen Ranzz s of New Earth, Earth-247, and 3B Earth decide to teach their boyfriends, and husband, about why you shouldn't evasdrop on telepathic women. They mess with your head.


Disclaimer: I do not own Legion.

I know in the case of 3B Imra it might be the pot calling the kettle black, but it just wouldn't be that funny if she wasn't included. Take a lesson, boys. Never evasdrop on your telepathic wife. A bit weird, and a little gross, but I'm operating on reserve power.

* * *

"And then there was the captain of the Moopsball team..." the short-haired Imra Ranzz of New Earth spoke as she sipped her coffee with her two younger counterparts.

"You mean Hoyt Frayz?" The ponytailed Imra Ardeen of Earth-247 inquired.

"No, I believe his name was Alyan Karlile. I think. Or maybe that was the running back. I can't remember, they were all there." NE Imra told them.

_I know. I have enough of a hard time remembering the names of the Science Club. And the 5D Chess Club. That was a wild Passover_. 3B Imra thought, telepathically broadcasting her thoughts as the Titanians of her universe had long lost the use of vocal-chords.

"I still have a hang over from the last one." 247 Imra said, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I'm still finding out broken toys from that one." Their older self told them.

"I know they are such a pain, right?" 247 asked. 3B Imra nodded her head.

_My doctor's on speed-dial, though_.

"Mine lives on Legion World." 247 told them.

"An entire planet?" NE Imra asked, amazed that her younger counterpart's world had an entire planet for their Legion.

"Yep, and not a single blacklight." 247 smirked.

_Lucky you. But I'll bet you don't have access to five different laundry rooms_. 3B Imra thought with a smug look.

"Are we talking western or eastern hemisphere?" 247 asked.

The girls could hear a faint gagging sound.

_What about you?_ 3B asked NE asked.

"Sadly, no." NE Imra said, blushing.

Her counterparts gave her blank looks.

"_You mean you're not-_" 3B Imra asked.

"It's not like I can't throw this uniform out." NE Imra defended.

The sound of struggling to keep quiet was heard.

"Burn them. I think your Brainy likes to go through the trash." 247 informed her.

_But anyway, what I find most relaxing is when it's put right THERE_. 3B Imra sighed mentally.

"No, it's better when you've got one in back and one in front." NE Imra bushed again.

"I'm not comfortable until I have EVERY one plugged." 247 sighed.

_What about making him find it? It was so much fun when JO looked for it._ 3B asked.

"I keep a scoring chart. Whoever finds it quickest get's to go twice. " NE revealed.

"Really? Can you teach me how?" 247 Imra asked. "I need ane excuse for when my Garth keeps asking. I don't want him finding out."

"If he's anything like MY Garth, he won't." NE Imra said.

The whispering got louder.

"_What the hell does THAT mean?_"

"_What do you THINK it means?_"

_"Shut up!_"

_I can keep M'rrisey's mouth shut with promises of Adventure Comics from Tinya's stash so no one knows. But that's not the only way._ 3B giggled, and then they were all laughing.

"Oh my God!"

The three sharply stopped when the three Garth Ranzzes fell out of their hiding place.

"You did it with M'rrisey, too?!" 3B Garth screamed.

"Hello, Garth." All three coldly said at the same time. The look of disgust on the faces of the three Garths was replaced with fear when they realized they'd been found out.

"We wondered when you'd join the party." NE Imra said.

_You HAVE been here for about an hour._

"You must have been enjoying the show?" 247 Imra asked.

"Run for it, boys." NE Garth gulped.

"Can't. Too scared." Live Wire said as the demonic aura of the three Ardeens engulfed them.

...

All three Garth Ranzzes were hooked up to life-support systems. Their eyes blank and drool going down their chins. Brainiac 5, Brainiac 5, and Brainiac 5.1 had never seen such Titanian fury.

"Um, Imras, while there are a number of valid reasons, which one did you choose for making my brother, um, I don't really know how to describe it." Lightning Lass asked.

"Black out?" Spark thought.

"Mentally erased?" Light Lass asked.

"They should know better then to think any of us would gossip about them." NE Imra said.

"Ignorant." 247 Imra said.

_Word_. 3B finished.


End file.
